Why Girlfriend/Boyfriend just aint for me

I can really sum this one up in just two words. Unnecessary bullsh*t. This is what I like to call the middle man no one needs between being single and being married. Why? Three reasons.

1. Rule of thumb

I have a rule of thumb at this point in my life based on my past experiences and watching the rest of the world make the same mistakes. Fall in love before commitment, don't commit with hopes of falling in love. Think about. How many people do you know who are actually deeply in love with one another before they go ahead and give each other that girlfriend/boyfriend title. I ain't saying there's none out there but its like needles in a haystack. Most people get to this point based on "i like you a lot so far" and basic shared interests. But I like you a lot is not good enough in reality.

Lets take God for instance. People don't just up and commit their lives over to God and give up the life they were previously living. It just don't happen that way. We all really like to be blessed and have good things happen, but unfortunately just really liking what God does for us is not enough to convert over to really being with Him and not the world. Those who do commit their lives to Him, most times take months and years to learn of Him and fall in love with Him first. There come many trials, tribulations, and testimonies before the actual commitment. Well its the same way dealing with a human being. I cant just up and say you're my girl because I like you. Nah slim. A wise man told me you either love em or you hate em, because if you like em its possible you could hate em tomorrow. So I look at it like this; If I cant just up and commit my life and my heart to God without being in love with Him, why would I commit to you without being in love with you? Make sense? This leads into my second point.

2.The title gives em a reason to lie

I already know what some folks are eager to say. "Well you gotta be with somebody to fall in love with them" Telling yourself this lie does nothing but set you up to hear lies from the other side. You ain't got to be with no man or woman for them to fall in love with you. Communicate with them, yes! Spend time learning them, yes! But you ain't gotta stick me with a title and give yourself unwanted rights for me to fall in love with you. To keep it all the way real, the REAL test of time and sincerity in how that person feels about you is in how they maintain themselves while being single and getting to know you. You tag someone with that girlfriend/boyfriend stamp and now they have a reason to lie which just makes em higher risk than they already were because there's already a chance they might be lying when they're single. But at least when they're single the risk is lower if you're dealing with a halfway decent person because its pretty much a "what i got to lie for" type deal. "Yeah I like you but we ain't together so if something else happens, it happened and I'm sorry it happened that way but"......Again this is if you're dealing with a half way decent person. If they ain't half way decent, you're all the way blind anyway.

But back to the point. Once that title is in place, now dude cant go where he was going when he was single without 10 more questions and concerns than he had before. Now if she steps out she might get the same questions and concerns but in the case that she has a man who really ain't tripping, now she's wondering why he ain't trippin and that becomes an issue in itself. I'm telling you, it seem like as soon as you establish with someone that we girlfriend and boyfriend its like they got 4 eyes and not just 2 anymore. Its a blower! Its life for what?!! I started liking you because of the way you were not b/c of how you acting right now! Now when I'm going to kick it with the same homies I was going to kick it with last week, I gotta compromise my truth to keep you at peace by saying some sh*t like "i gotta go drop this bread off to O real quick, I'll be back in a few minutes" when really I'm just tryna go kick it like i been doing but that's not suitable anymore. She wants more time, more answers, and more respect than that. And vice versa, a lot of dudes act the same way.

And that's where the lies come in because you're still tryna be who you are while trying to consider this person 10times more than you did a week ago. But had you stayed single and kept to your ways, this person would see all they need to see in a sense where really even if they want you to change somethings, they can express it but all they can do is respect the fact that you're being who you are and hope for the day these things change. Time will tell everything. They'll either learn to love you as is or learn that they cant put up with you. Its that simple. But if they love you as you are going in, they already know if you lie, what type of lies you tell and when you like to do things that they don't neccessarly agree with. When someone knows you accept them flaws and all they feel less need to lie or hide their flaws. It might seem like they're never gonna change at times but really if they have any type of care for you, they hear you, they see your concern, and most of all they appreciate the fact that you're still around which will more or less begin to bring on that change. But tie'n em down often makes them feel like they cant be their self without providing explanation and going through changes, and so on come the lies.

3. Commitment is Commitment

A girlfriend to me is a girl that is a friend. Hence the name. No need for us to go and try to complicate it and add more to what it is than what it really states. I know that's what we are trained to think but get a different trainer because the one you're using sucks. I'm like this; Commitment is commitment. Today's girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are like a trial period deal. This ain't the 60 day aol disk you used to go cop from the grocery store back in the day. I'm a grown man. What I look like being on a trial basis? Don't title me your man and say "ok i need to see how you treat me and see that you really love me before I give you my hand in marriage" What is that? You can see how I treat you and see that I love you while I'm single. (as eluded to in point 2). I cant go in a sprint store and see a blackberry that says "free with 2year plan" and go to the counter and say "aye dawg i want this free blackberry but let me test it out for like six months before signing that contract" Nah, ima keep whatever phone status I got right now until I know I can manage that monthly bill for 2 years and I got a made up mind that that's the phone I really want. That's how I look at it with women. If I'm not really ready to commit for the long haul, I'm not ready to commit period. And me being ready to commit for the long haul means I really love your ups, downs, lefts and rights. At this point what do I a MAN look like making you my GIRL? And what do you, a WOMAN, look like accepting just being my GIRL? If its love its love and love is supposed to be what? Everlasting. Meaning what? Forget all that bs, we bout to make this thing official, go get that finger sized. Its that simple. You think God is gonna look at me and say "you didn't treat you're girlfriend right in 2010" No! Because we aint make no vows to no God to love each other and be with each other till death do us part. Plus we probably fornicating considering we ain't married so if He gonna say anything its gonna be "why didn't you obey me?" The word do say its better to marry than to burn. That's what it says! So if ima commit ima make the right commitment, not the trial period commitment that holds no weight but sure as hell carries a lot of weight.

In closing I say this. If you got a girl or a man, that's cool. That's your thing. This is just my perspective and why I will remain single until I'm married. Allowing a person to be who they are without feeling bound is the best way to learn a persons true colors and know not just the painting, but the painter before purchasing. There is no title requirement to fall in love. Just communication and attentiveness. It don't take the middle man (bf/gf commitment) coming in telling you how to act, what to say and where to go. Love will do that on its own in the right time and season. Commit to love first, and the person second. It works better that way and saves you a lot of drama. Good day folks.

SHES SEXY (written in 2007)

She was blessed with a gorgeous smile. Blessed with a nice body. Even blessed with a powerful mind when steered in the right direction. But her image became her biggest downfall.She's grown to the age where she gets alot of attention.

Starts to realize she's wanted by many which leaves her with the option to choose from plenty. But somewhere in the midst of all the attention she's receiving, theres a shift in her character. Subconciously? Maybe, maybe not. But there is now a standard set on the men she chooses to invite into her life based on how they look, how they're built, and how they're paid.
All standards set by the perception she receives from her own reflection in the mirror. A perception built by the attention she receives from the eyes of the guys whos minds aren't searching her heart but searching for a way to see her naked flesh. She wonders why her relationship history is a mess.

She doesnt really know who she is anymore. She's too sexy now. Right? Or is she lost? Failing to realize that who she really is and what she looks like can only be judged by the Creator who placed her here to begin with. The same one who blessed her with the look, but also placed her here with a purpose. To be sexy? Imagine that.

But this is 2007. Who thinks like that right? She may not speak it but clearly she's consumed with how she's viewed in the eyes of the guys with the sour minds. She's blind to the men in line with the views of her Creator. She's attracted to the one wo thinks just like her. She thinks hes SEXY. Sexy as in hot. But whats hot always seems to get cold. Sexy becomes sexual in the bedroom. But just wait until the sex gets old. Ole boy start to look at her like "oh thats just so & so". She's asking herself what happened to that sexy guy I used to know?

Its simple sweetheart. You see sexy takes you for a ride then drops you off. Beauty runs deep. Get in tuned with who you really are before you open up ya arms and pull back your sheets. He might not be who you think he is, and who you are is definitley not what he sees. He sees Sexy, but your soul cant be seen in the natural and common eyes only view whats skin deep.

RELIGION VS SPIRITUALITY

The Religious Person Vs The Spiritual PersonG*d hates "Religiousness", (and it gets on my nerves as well). But G*d loves the Spiritual. Spiritual people lead others to Truth, Religious people make them allergic to it. So I thought I should explain the difference between "Religiousness" and "Spirituality". I took these from the Parables of Jesus, the Proverbs of Solomon, Rabbi Sha'ul, and the Sayings of Confucius, Aristotle, and other people who had Insight (Gleaning the Wisdom, and Forgetting the Falsities)

The Religious Person Asks-"What is Allowable?" The Spiritual Person Asks-"What is Best?"Those who have been forgiven little become religious, because they love little.Those who have been forgiven much are spiritual, because they love much.

The Religious Person Asks G*d to Change OTHERS, and CONDEMNS other for NOT changing.The Spiritual Person Asks G*d to Change HIM FIRST, So He Can then HELP others to change.

The Religious person sees only stupidity and lies in the beliefs of others.The Spiritual person sees both the Truth and the Lies in everything, the Wisdom and the Folly in everything He adopts the Truths, and Leaves the Lies. Gains the Wisdoms and gets rid of the Follies.

The Religious Person Preaches with WORDS ALONE.The Spiritual Person Preaches with ACTIONS, and EXAMPLE, Using words only Occassionally.

The Religious Person Operates on Opinions (of the Church).The Spiritual Person Operates on Principals (of G*d)

The Religious person only talks about G*d, showing how little he knows of G*d (Christ).The Spiritual Person Imitates G*d, and in doing so shares what he knows about Him(Christ).

The Religious person's Actions are Based on FEAR.The Spiritual person's Actions are Based on LOVE.

The Religious person thanks G*d he is NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.The Spiritual person thanks G*d he is NOT LIKE HE WAS BEFORE.

The Religious Person seeks Approval.The Spiritual Person seeks Righteousness, (not Self-Righteousness)

The Religious Person is proud.The Spiritual Person is Humble.

The Religious Person Views the Law as a Justification to Hate. (Those who violate a "thou shall not murder, lie, committ adultery", should be hated, but just for the things you haven't done yourself-because your own sins are always the ones that are "the little ones".)The Spiritual Person Views the Law as an Explanation of How to Love. (If you love, you will not murder, lie, committ adultery, etc. Because these things Hurt yourself and others, also realizing that put under the right circumstances, you would probably br capable of almost any evil yourself)

The Religious Person thinks he has committed few sins (they did not murder or committ adultery in person, so they are innocent).The Spiritual Person realizes he has committed several sins (everyone has committed murder and adultery in their heart, so none are innocent).

The Religious person seeks to be Admired.The Spiritual person appreciates it when he is Admonished.

The Religious person thinks G*d needs them.The Spiritual person realizes they need G*d.

The Religious person follows the Traditions (of Church).The Spiritual person follows the Commands (of G*d).

The Religious person knows the Law because it is in a Book, like a map to be pondered.The Spiritual person knows the Law because it is in his heart, like a compass guiding his path.

The Religious person wishes to throw stones.The Spiritual person remembers the stones thrown at them.

The Religious person hates those who are Lost on every level.The Spiritual person has compassion for those who are Lost on every level.

The Religous person forgets that he was once Lost Himself, and thinks he has found all Truth.The Spiritual person never forgets he was once Lost, and is always seeking more Truth.

When a religous man is in an arguement, he looks for the wrong done by others.When the Spiritual man is in an arguement, he looks for the wrong done by himself.

The Religious person hates those who actions hurt others, and yet no compassion for those that hurt, or the ones throwing at others the stones thrown at themselvers earlier.The Spiritual person hates actions that hurt others, but still has Love for those those doing the hurting.

The Religious person recognizes only his achievements ABOVE others.The Spiritual person recognizes His Own shortcomings IN others.

The Religous Person Prays to be Seen.The Spiritual Person Prays to be Heard.

The Religious person mocks those on the wrong path, even though they are BARELY on the right path themselves,and still wandering away from it..The Spiritual person beckons those on the wrong path onto the right one.

The Religious Person Controls with the Letter of the Law (such as not being "allowed" to buy a homeless man food on the Sabbath, since you are buying).The Spiritual Person Loves with the Spirit of the Law (being required to buy a homeless man food on the Sabbath, because the Sabbath is time set aside for doing G*d's Work, and not your own).

The Religious person is concerned about how OTHERS actions will affect Him.The Spiritual person is concerned about HIS actions with affect others.

The religious person thinks Salvation is a reward they earned.The Spiritual person realizes that Salvation is an undeserved gift.

The Religious Person will obsess over death.The Spiritual Person will accept it as a Transition that gives meaning to life.

The Religous person tries to teach though he knows little.The Spiritual person tries to learn, though he knows much already.

The Religous person thinks he owns everything in his posession for his own benefit.The Spiritual person realizes everything he has is on loan from G*d, and for a purpose greater than himself.

Religion is a Clenched Fist.Spirituality is a Helping Hand."Many will Say to Me "Lord, Lord, Did we not work miracles and drive out demons in your name??", and I will say to them, Away from me you Evildoers, for I never Knew You". Jesus, on the "Religious""He who loves me will Abide in my Commandment, and my Commandment is this, that you LOVE one another, as I have Loved you" Jesus on the "Spiritual""Preach Always, Use Words Only If You Must" Francis Xavier.